Love & Marriage

One rainy day, fire alarm, cut-off cellphones, bottle of Cabernet and MTV "reality" show later, and I'm thinking. Mtv's Engaged and Underage is portraying 18 to early 20 somethings showing off their "rocks", forcing their future spouses to change (i.e. career path, hobbies, friends, etc.), and doubting their very foundations. I have to ask, why are these people getting married? Yes, I am 21 and I am myself engaged, but my life and our relationship isn't like their's. We're not getting married to move out, to prove a point, to conquer each other. Marriage is a unity of two souls; it is the joining of two lives, two different sets of daily habits and routines, but most of all, it is the constant trust, companionship and love that comes out of it all. Love is beautiful and love is at the center of life, but love cannot work if other pieces fail. And by other pieces i mean, but of course, money, communication and the ability to work through differences.
No two people are alike; no two dreams, no two actions, no two tears. It can be difficult to see another person's perspective in the heat of an argument, in the belly of your pain, but if you are loved, and if you do love, the other side matters. Watching that show, i realize why there is such a stipulation against people who marry young. They aren't prepared. That first dream home that they're so excited about (hello! it's not a 8' by 8' dorm room and it's not mom and dad's basement!) is covered in layers of Mr. and Mrs.'dust around the furniture!'s bathroom mold, lanolium (spelling?) floors, and it's glittering in all it's ranch house glory (no offense to the ranch house by the way). It's just that, these are different times. Women can get an education, and they better! They have more to look forward to than their husband's fresh pile of dirty laundry. I mean, hell, I can't even operate a mixer. I have zero domestic skill and Andy is the kitchen King. But hello dahlings, that's why it works!

Moi et mon cherie amour, Andrew

He is my earth, steady, calm and consent, and I am his water, thrashing, unpredictable and all over the place. But there is a balance there; he keeps me still, I keep him moving. Do all these young newlyweds have their balance or is it just love?
And that's a tough question to answer, especially when you're living it, but I know that i've always known, deep down in the bottom of every "i love him!" young relationship, that it wasn't right. I knew I had love but I also knew that the love had no future. With every innocent (and sometimes not) proclamation of love, I never saw that dream that every little girl holds onto. I never saw the white dress, the immaculately dressed man waiting at the end of the walk. Until Andrew. With him, I saw it all; my present, my past, my future. He was the one I would walk to.
So now i'm looking at Jenny Packham and Pronovias, learning way more than I ever thought I'd know about flowers (though I love them crazy), staring constantly at my sapphire and gold ring, and studying for comm exams. I'm trying to keep my thoughts straight, especially through the holidays, and I'll be sure to let you know how it all goes!

Maybe love is knowing, that you always want to know.

Lots of love,
Rai